2021

Guess what?

After working here for 1 and a half year 

Finally I got my confirmation letter

but I do not feel happy at all

It's just feel like I fall into a mouse trap 

I have to give one month notice when I'm really decide to leave

Still feeling not happy after working for so long

Blame myself for being too stupid to get a job

Also blame for being so unlucky to meet this kind of colleagues

Sometimes male really would be more annoying than female

damn why is life so hard

damn why am I need this job to survive

After a long time

Covid instead of getting better but the cases is rising everyday

but our stupid government still chose to not declare mco

I may not understand how economy will be

but I do understand that if they do not take any action

the death cases will keep rising and rising

People never understand life is so important

they all still dare to go everywhere to have fun or shopping

why can't everyone be discipline to save yourself and others?

I'm the one whom wanted to stay home so badly but I can't

as I need to work for surviving 

okay maybe some of them same as me

but why is the rest all coming out?? 

I mean if you all do not need to working outside 

why do you all have to come out??

Stay at home watch youtube or play game

wouldn't be happy than staying at outside?

It's already end of May but I still did nothing

How am I gonna to improve myself

and yes I lost most of the friends since last year

I found out the reason

IT IS BECAUSE im sucks.

kbye.

Adult life

Finally i'm here again after years

okay so 2020 is not a good year

happened so much thing in these 4 months

I don't know what am I doing with my life?

facing corona virus?

friendship problem? I mean I don't know how to communicate

keep messing up my job?

have a bad relationship with colleagues?

wanna to change job but I don't even know what am I interested in

might be facing jobless too due to the stupid corona virus

I just can't see my future at all

oh ya and due to I don't know how to maintain relationship with friends

I think I'm gonna lose friends in this year

no idea since when I've become the one that doesn't like to talk?

but I really used to be the one super active and keep talking with friends

since when and what makes me to become like this?

Adult life is not what as I expected

it so much more difficult than what I thought

seriously wishing that I could back to student life

but need money to survive and paying all the debt

Shittim camp

What a wonderful day.
Spending the whole day long with the great people and gained so much experiences through this shittim camp.
Even though it's really so difficult to complete the missions but at least we did it at the last.

Especially for the spider web
I just cant breath when I reach the top maybe cause of I have acrophobia
I really think that I will die there
My heartbeat goes really fast that time
Okay while the time I come down for rest
Adam came to speak to me
He recognized me.
Omg never thought someone would recognize me after years.
I don't know he recognize me is it through the time our youth combine together or what
But still feeling unbelievable.
Well at last I complete the spider web mission hehe

After that we go for the swing
I feel that I'm so useless zz
I have tried for forth time but still failed zz
So we ended up only completed 6 station games and we move to the pool games

Pool game is even so much fun than the station games
Even though my group couldn't complete one of the mission which we have to build people like a tower and 3 people have to be on top at the end
But we did it for the other pool games such as finding guli in the water, running on the tube and boating.

Thanks Adam and the team for guiding us in playing all the mission games.

Lifeless

Yea I am back to update my blog after years

Okay I still will laugh at my own posts and same goes to Shareen's

We really did too much stupid things during high school

and we used to share our blog to facebook 

that's why we never write out the person  name in the blog

and we cannot remember who is the person once we read back the blog

btw high school life is the best hehe

Guess what?

I have wasted 10 months long by staying at home doing nothing at all

It was due to I failed the particular subject 

and my family wants me to get a job after I got the diploma certificate

Yea not kidding

I have been doing nothing at all in this period

Some friends jealous that I could staying at home

but they do not know that I jealous they could go for work or class everyday

It would be better than staying at home all the time

and being ask what am I working right now all the time 

Oh ya 

I still have no idea what to work as right now

or it should be my parents still helping me to choose a job

and I am still a 21 years old girl who still have curfew 

that really makes me sad

when everyone ask me why are you still having curfew when you are 21 years old

dear my all friends

you all should ask my mum for this questions 

Let's talk about the relationship part

Yea last updated was about I still confusing about our relationship

and we have broken up last year

after we had broken up and we did not meet each other anymore

and I thought I have moved on

who knows?

I met him last few days only I realized that I did not move on yet

wow everyone thought I have moved on even myself

but why God let me to see him last few days

that feeling really not good at all

It just feel like something hit my heart so hard 

I will never ever forget about that feeling

I just cannot handle it anymore

that's why I started afraid of someone approach to me

Sorry I just not ready for it 

but thanks God I did not cry for it hehe

For the friendship part

Yea I don't know since when I stopped hanging out with my church friends

and I don't know is it cause of I'm poor that's why we did not hang out anymore

or cause of I lazy to date them out?? okay I have no idea about this

but hopefully our friendship still there even we did not hang out for a long time

I'm really bored when all my friends are busy study or working

most of them even not stay in kk anymore

I feel like I have no more friends since they all went for their degree 

and I always afraid that our friendship will stop here due to the long distances 

hopefully I am the one think too much about this

but I am really sucks in maintaining friendship and relationship

Still looking for the trips I could go any places with my friends

no matter which gang hahaha

Okay that's all for today.

May

After Sem 3 of final
and I have 5 weeks of holiday
Well I didn't spend well in these 5 weeks
I just staying at home all the time
almost EVERYDAY
Yeah thug life

Sem 3 result is not worst than I expect
still acceptable for me
even though I failed the marketing and accounting
*as I expected*

Until today I think I'm still sucks in feeling
cause I'm still blur with our relationship
I still confuse about it everyday
and it's really annoy me
since I think about this every night before I sleep
yet I still not dare to ask him for the answer
but then I just feel like we're already in a relationship

nothing much.
one more week to sem 4
9 more days to KL hehe

Year 1 Sem 3

Can't believe that 

It's sem 3 now

Always complaining how busy my college life is

but at least I'm in sem 3 now after those happy and busy days

Thanks God for that I got a good result in last sem

the result really shocked me

I never expect that I could get almost all B in my exam

Even though I still failed one subject

but it's okay

at least I don't need to carry that much of resit paper to this sem

Sem 3 is a short sem

which means we only have 7 weeks of classes

It's a tough sem for me

Since I'm the one who always procrastinate 

and it's week 3 now

I should be rushing my Kitchen Management and Sanitation assignment right now

but I just don't know to do make it as an essay

so I'm here haha

Sem 3 also is a sem that I spend the most time with my classmates 

maybe this sem's subjects really hard for me

so that I spend most of my time with them?

Hmmmm I have no idea about this

 

Well

I don't know since when

when my friend can't find him

and they will look for me to ask me where he is 

or saying something that related to him while we're in a conversation

but I still don't know what they mean now

Am I still sucks in feeling? 

hahaha

College life

It's been a long time
I didn't update my blog
Well
It's August now
And my semester break is coming very soon
One more week to go !!
But first
I'm died in my first exam ._.
But I really don't want to repeat :(
Just hope that next semester I ca get a better result
To cover this semester of result

Hmmm I've been study in this college
For 3 months long
Seriously college life is totally different with secondary school
And I also met difference people I'm college
There's a lot guai zai guai moi in my class
But I don't know why that I feel like I just can't join them :/
Maybe I'm not that type of student?
Haha I have no idea

Well
I'm really glad that I could get to know a gang of people
That comes from different course different year
They're really so good to me
Even though sometimes they're meant to me too
Hmmm as I remember
I knew all of them since the orientation night
That night could be the best night ever to me!
I had so much fun that night
Well
We were totally insane
We could play game until 6 o'clock morning
Just sleep
Hahaha
It's also my first time overnight in a hotel with a lot of friends
Yeaaa after the orientation night
Then we get to knew more about each other
I never believe that they could be so important in my college life
They put colours in my college life
Even it's just year one of semester one
Haha

That's all for my year one of semester one
Hehe
Oh yea
The gangs of pussies is planning a trip to nexus/kokol haven someday
I really wish that I could join it
It would be so fun !
#justcantwaitforthesemesterbreak